


Smile Like You Mean It

by bigenderbabe



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: M/M, college au?? vaguely, it's mentioned that they're in junior year of college, kinda angsty, no squip au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-21
Updated: 2017-11-21
Packaged: 2019-02-04 23:18:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12781791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bigenderbabe/pseuds/bigenderbabe
Summary: Michael’s eyes glazed over, transfixed on the boy at the front of the restaurant. Jeremy had traded out his signature striped shirt and cardigan for a plain white t-shirt and a denim jacket. He was wearing his glasses, which he rarely did when they were friends. He had always been insecure about them so he wore contacts as much as possible.Michael was suddenly self conscious of his ripped jeans, Night Riots t-shirt and distressed sweatshirt.“Jeremy’s here,” Michael said, with a dumbfounded voice.





	Smile Like You Mean It

Michael’s door flew open, revealing a very giddy looking Jeremy.

“Christine and I got together,” Jeremy sounded breathless, but incredibly happy.

Michael's face fell slightly, but covered it up with a fake grin. In actuality, he felt like crying. He’d had a giant crush on his best friend since the eighth grade, but he never had the guts to tell him. Especially when Jeremy started crushing hard on Christine Canigula. Jeremy was straight, he’d never like Michael that. He couldn't ruin his friendship like that, it was too important to him. So, he’ll sit and admire his best friend from a respectable distance while they played video games. 

“Smile like you mean it,” he thought to himself. He turned to his best friend, still standing in his door way. 

“Congrats, dude!” Michael tried to mask the hurt he felt with an upbeat tone.

Jeremy’s already flushed cheeks turned even more red and smiled at his friend once again before sitting in the bean bag next to Michael.

“I can’t believe it, man. I’m going out with Christine Canigula!” Jeremy tossed his head of curls back and laughed.

Michael focused on picking at a bump on the back of his hand, “Yeah, me neither,” he whispered, not to anyone in particular.

———

Michael gave the relationship 3 months, tops. But boy, was he wrong.

The pair lasted the remainder of high school, and on. Michael had stopped counting during freshman year of college.

After Jeremy started dating Christine, Michael began to distance himself from his best friend. Pining after your best friend friend who's in a relationship just makes me you feel guilty. As much as he wanted Jeremy to be happy, there was only so much pain his heart could endure. He stopped seeing Jeremy as much, the more the pair saw of each other the more Michael hurt. He had latched onto Rich, who was happily dating Jake at this point, making Michael the third wheel on most nights out. He really couldn't complain though, he was insanely happy for Rich. There were countless nights that Michael could remember of Rich texting him at a late hour because of how much he loved Jake’s nose. Rich had obviously been in love with Jake for a long time, but Michael couldn't help but be the tiniest bit jealous of them.

It was a cold night in their junior year of college. Rich, Jake and Michael were out at some restaurant, just trying to catch up with each other. It was the first time in awhile that their schedules had all lined up so they were trying to make the most of it.

Jake was recounting a story from one of his acting classes when Michael spotted a familiar head of curls by the hostess’ desk at the front of the restaurant. Michael’s eyes widened and swallowed thickly. He hadn’t seen those curls in almost 2 years. Jake seemed to sense something was up and trailed off in the middle of a sentence. 

Rich turned to face Michael, “Are you okay?” He spoke in a hushed tone. He had experience with Michael’s anxiety and knew that loud talking gave him bad sensory overload.

Michael’s eyes glazed over, transfixed on the boy at the front of the restaurant. Jeremy had traded out his signature striped shirt and cardigan for a plain white t-shirt and a denim jacket. He was wearing his glasses, which he rarely did when they were friends. He had always been insecure about them so he wore contacts as much as possible. 

Michael was suddenly self conscious of his ripped jeans, Night Riots t-shirt and distressed sweatshirt. 

“Jeremy’s here,” Michael said, with a dumbfounded voice.

Jake laughed at the unintentional pun before quickly wiping the amusement from his face “Sorry, bad time,” he amended before following Michael’s gaze to the front.

“Holy fuck,” Rich exclaimed, receiving a few looks from the surrounding tables. 

Jeremy seemed to notice the three pairs of eyes on him and turned the see the table of his friends from high school. His face lit up and he waved, and swiftly turned to whoever was beside him. When Jeremy began walking towards the table Michael noticed that the person Jeremy had been with was Christine.

“Of fucking course,” He muttered, before plastering on a fake smile for his ex best friend. The one he still thought about to this day, the one he couldn't hate no matter how hard he tried. 

“Rich! Jake!” Jeremy exclaimed, taking in the faces of the people in front of him. His face softened slightly when he turned to the final person. “Michael!” His voice was quieter, more subdued. “It’s been forever!” 

Michael smiled awkwardly as Jeremy and Christine pulled up some chairs to the table. Christine sat next to Jake, immediately jumping into a conversation about their acting careers. Jeremy sat in between Rich and Michael, the latter suddenly finding the pattern in the wood on the table incredibly interesting. 

An awkward and still silence overtook that side of the table as the three of them struggled to find something to talk about. Rich seemed to be the first one to find a neutral topic to talk about.

“So!” He exclaimed, turning slightly to look at Jeremy, “How’s school going?”

“Oh! It’s uh, really good. Christine finally convinced me to major in theatre, so we’ve been doing lots of shows together and whatever,” a pink tint slid over Jeremy’s cheeks, obviously uncomfortable with being the center of attention; showcasing how even though he looked like a cool guy he still had the same mannerisms as his socially nervous 17 year old self. Rich continued on asking Jeremy questions while Michael watched from the otherside. 

Michael knew he should talk to Jeremy, try and get their relationship back to normal. But the longer he lingered outside of the conversation, the more uncomfortable he felt.

After a few minutes of zoning out Michael, on a spur of the moment bout of confidence, jumped into the conversation. “How are you and Christine doing?”

Jeremy turned towards Michael and gave him a confused look. On the other side of the table Jake and Christine fell silent.

“We’re good, I guess?” 

Michael could feel his face turning red, from both the awkwardness the question had caused and the verification that Jeremy and Christine were still dating.  
“I don’t know why you’d ask it like that though? We’re uh, separate people,” Jeremy seemed genuinely confused at Michael’s question, which in turn made Michael confused.

The two’s confusion was interrupted by Christine giggling, “Jer, he asked that because he thinks we’re still dating.”

_Oh._

“I’m sorry, what?” Michael asked, leaning towards Christine. 

“We broke up in freshman year, Didn’t Jeremy ever tell you guys?” Christine was smiling good naturedly, but it seemed almost teasing to Michael. 

_What the fuck?_

“I forgot?” Jeremy supplied looking sheepish.

Michael’s head was spinning, there was too much happening all at once and he had to get out before he passed out. He pushed his chair out with a quick “I’m going to get a drink,” before heading toward the bar.

He sat down at the less populated end of the bar before ordering a beer, putting his head in his hand and taking a deep breath. 

He needed a moment to process all that happened in the last ten minutes. He just ran into his childhood best friend, who he hasn’t seen since he went to college, and his girlfriend, who was now a ex girlfriend. Meaning, Jeremy was single and in his general vicinity. Michael chuckled quietly and accepted his beer from the bartender.

He took a sip as a voice sounded behind him, “I was going to tell you, eventually.”

Michael almost choked and turned slightly to see Jeremy sliding into the seat next to him, bumping their knees together. 

“It’s just that we hadn’t talked in a few months and I didn’t want to tell you and then expect something to happen between us? Y’know?” Jeremy said, looking down at his hands.

“I’m not following,” Michael replied, shaking his head.

“Like, my breakup would spark anything between us?” Jeremy tried, with a hopefulness in his voice.

“What?” Michael really wasn’t sure what Jeremy was saying at this point. 

“You’d suddenly want to talk to me again, maybe? Or, I don’t know maybe we’d go out or you’d kiss me?”

Michael froze. “Hold on, backtrack. What the fuck?” Did he hear that correctly? Michael was genuinely confused now. Jeremy wanted him to kiss him?

“Well, hear goes nothing. Michael Mell, I broke up with Christine because I realized I was in love you.” Jeremy was unabashedly looking him directly in the eyes as he spoke, foregoing all his usual anxious mannerisms.

Michael floundered for a response for a moment before he cleared his throat and spoke, “Well, good thing I’ve been in love with you since eighth grade.”

The pair held eye contact for a moment before they broke into a fit of giggles. 

“Jeremy, what the fuck were you thinking? Ignore me to get the message that you liked me across?” Michael spoke with no malice, but with a smile. He grabbed Jeremy’s hand and ran his thumb across the back of it. 

“I honestly have no idea, man.” Jeremy was still laughing, tears pricking at the corner of his eyes.

“Thank god you’re cute, because you aren’t very bright sometimes.”

Jeremy leaned his head against Michael’s shoulder and sighed, “It’s really good to have you back.”

 

Michael kissed the top of his head before shaking him off. “C’mon, Let’s go outside so I can kiss you and not have everyone looking at us.”

Jeremy nodded, his grin starting to hurt his face. The pair pretended not to hear their friends cheers from their table as the pair walked, hand in hand out the door.  
“Fucking finally,” Jake whispered as Rich and Christine high-fived.

**Author's Note:**

> two works in one day, who am i?? ACTUALLY i started writing this back in june when i was super into the killers (hence the title) and found it in the depths of my google drive sometime last week i think. so in a procrastination fueled bout of writing inspiration, i finished it up. i haven't been super involved in the bmc fandom in awhile but i felt compelled to finish this? for some reason? but anyway, take this.
> 
> follow me on tumblr: @landmarkslovers


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